Letter to the editor

Letter to the editor ...
by Casey Ishitani (originally appeared in Ka Lamakua at kalamakua.org)

The following letter is a response to the multiple articles that ran in yesterday’s paper.



To whom it may concern:



I am writing this letter to express my greatest dismay toward your printed institution. I find this newspaper to be a heartless and crude example of your nation’s downfall. This retort is a warning that the proposed quest you are on is one fraught with but little glory and even less chivalry.

I have read many newspaper articles centered around American politics, even forgoing food and sleep so that I may retain their glory in one fell swoop. But, while stumbling across my niece’s mail while she prepared what she called “a necessary bonfire,” I found your editorial section. Of all the things I have read, I find it to be a most disturbing chink in your people’s armor.

Logic, which a great number of your writers use, is the enemy of glory. It is hard to be logical and lead a life as a derring-do cavalier at the same time, and we all know that Americans love to be cavalier. Being logical and sensible toward politics takes all of the adventure out of living as a citizen in your great nation.

As you plead for logical solutions to American problems such as poverty and poor health, you don’t realize how much you are killing the chivalric nature with which your leaders have molded America. What better way to show one’s love for a nation than dying for it valiantly-- without the aid of government-funded medicine or welfare?

Besides, gallant individuals like Americans don’t need medicine or social welfare to protect them. They have an elite squad of Templar knights, which the government calls Blackwater. These valiant warriors defend the peasants and women of this country with their swords and steeds (M-16s and H2s) and ward off the heathens of Persia. Were it not for police officers and Minutemen, I would plead with them to roam all of America, dispensing justice and spreading the word of Christ.

Another article I take exception to is one pertaining to the serfs of your land. Were it not for serfs, your country would not have been built. Egypt and Russia were built by serfs much in the same way. Yet, your editorial page finds it necessary to speak of their unfortunate caste situation as if they should be treated as something other than serfs. By blaming the growing number of street urchins on the so-called “destruction of the middle-class,” you are evading the issue that the serfs are being given a golden opportunity to become knights. Why, by invading Persia, it will soon be a glorious time in which all Americans can become knights – fighting honorably for God and country, receiving estates and being greeted as liberators.

Which leads me to mention the most horrendous example of your attack on chivalry: your complete and utter lack of commitment to your king, George W. Bush. Even your writers who usually fawn over his beliefs and doctrines seem to be evading their god-given duty to serve their leader with the utmost and unconditional loyalty. And yet, your king is bringing you back to the great days of the Crusades, when noble warriors clashed, the Hebrews had no say and courtly love was in bloom (between men and women, that is). By spreading the harmful message that your leader is fallible, you destroy his glory and force people to vote for a king that acts less like a king and more like an Athenian. For shame! Fie upon thee!

Your newspaper is an example of all that is wrong in modern journalism. While others regale their readers with tales of wonder and whimsy, you report things that inspire feelings of unrest and motivation. While others ask the masses to have faith, you force them to form opinions. You’ve made a plea for the death of the days of the Saxons.

Also, a science article of yours, written about what you call “wind turbines,” appalls me. How dare you advocate the birth of giants? I shall have no choice but to engage them in battle.



Sincerely,

Alonso Quixano
La Mancha, Spain

Cartoons away

I will be posting some of these little doodles from time to time. Rejected strips for an online newsletter-type zine. Clearing of the throat, artistically speaking.

PS. Image is copyrighted. Wanna use it? Ask me. Don't care if it's a hit-job on my career, as long as you ask nicely.


"Aloha" by Casey Ishitani

We've got love when hate is the only way ...

An elderly Neo-Nazi extremist (“extremist,” as if there really any other kind of fucking Neo-Nazi) went out the other day and opened fire at the DC Holocaust Museum. A security guard was killed in the shooting. The museum recently reopened, so that visitors could reflect on the violence perpetrated in the past, hopefully preparing for violence that may happen in the future.

In Arizona (land of tolerance and love, sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm), Shawna Forde, Jason Eugene Bush and Albert Robert Gaxiola shot to death 29 year old Raul Flores and his 9 year old daughter, while leaving Flores’ wife to die. Forde has been under the radar of a few civil liberties groups for her flagrant anti-immigrant stances. All suspects have ties to The Minutemen American Defense group.

Pundits who accused legal – as in passing the acid test of societal mores - abortion provider Dr. George Tiller of being quote “Tiller the Baby Killer” have gone on the defense over statements they’ve made about him possibly being the cause and/or stimulus to his being targeted by extremist assassins. This after they’ve accused various liberals and Democrats of influencing extremists in Iraq (remember that whole “they watch the elections results over there, too” thing in 2004 and 2006?).

North Korea wants to arm itself with long-range nuclear missiles when it can’t even feed its own people, making it one of the poorest nations in the world.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with everyone? Nobody knows how to just share the world with other people anymore?

We’re in an economic depression. Now is not the time to lose your shit. Now is not the time to step on someone else’s toes to get ahead of the line. Now is not the time to spend money on stupid shit you don’t need. Now is not the time for hate.

Stay tuned for more updates. Feel like I need to actually do those in times like these.

DJ Casey (Jet Boy) Mixtape #1

The night says that it will take you around the world and I tried to do that with the first mix.

Jacques Dutronc - Le Responsable
Ultra Orange & Emmanuelle
The United States of America - Coming Down
Holly Golightly - There's An End
Bat For Lashes - A Forest (Cure cover)
Seu Jorge - Mania de Peitao (Jamais Plus Jamais Mix)
David Holmes - Kill Her With Kindness
Dungen - Svart Ar Himlen
Ratatat - Mirando
The Low Frequency In Stereo - Jimmy Legs
The Velvet Underground - Satellite of Love (demo version)
Caribou - Eli
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci - Stood on Gold
Francoise Hardy - Suzanne
The Damned - Jet Boy, Jet Girl

Anybody like post-rock-y, The Jesus and Mary Chain-type stuff should check out that David Holmes album, The Holy Pictures. It's a pretty chill album for the most part, Beta Band-like, but there's a good portion of over-modulation for post-rock junkies (of which I have joined the ranks of). Keep posted.

The arts of war

Have quite a few of these. Will post them as I find them.

The art of war has many divergent paths and the means to reach the end goal - peace, as it is hoped for - vary in even greater number. In the modern age, a form of battle has risen to show a war won by the strategy of either one of two men. Here is a transcript of the latest Globe of Death bout featuring color commentary by two established philosophers.

BILL WILLIAMS: Well, we’ve just had a hell of a match-up here at The Globe of Death. Striking machine Riley “The Cannon” Kendall just submitted to a rear-naked choke from Patrick “The Python” Corona. The crowd just can’t believe this David and Goliath tale. Hold on a second. It seems that there is some controversy in the arena. The crowd is saying it wasn’t a tap-out. They’re questioning the ref’s decision. Let’s have a listen to what he has to say about this.

REFEREE CREON: Is Thebes about to tell me how to rule?

WILLIAMS: Well … even though we’re in LA, it seems that he’s made his decision. Corona wins this fight. Providing commentary with me I have the legendary shi military consultant Sun Tzu; and realist political writer and one of Sun Tzu’s many interpreters, Niccolo di Bernardo dei Machiavelli.

SUN TZU: Ni Hao.

MACHIAVELLI: Buona sera.

WILLIAMS: May I say that it is an honor to have the both of you here to analyze the fight?

SUN TZU: I believe that all soldiers fight to honor something.

MACHIAVELLI: I’m getting paid for this, right?

WILLIAMS: Okay, first thing I wanted to ask: how did Kendall, a noted striker with lightning-quick timing, somehow misjudge Corona along the way? It seems really odd that a guy with a straight punch as fast as The Cannon would find himself trying to wriggle out of submission holds all night.

SUN TZU: Speed is the essence of war. Take advantage of the enemy's unpreparedness; travel by unexpected routes and strike him where he has taken no precautions.

MACHIAVELLI: One must be a fox to recognize traps and a lion to frighten wolves.

WILLIAMS: It got really hairy there for a while, when Corona got him in that flying triangle but found out that Kendall wasn’t having any of that. I counted upwards of five liver shots. Surprised that The Python didn’t just curl up and slither away.

SUN TZU: Master Corona exhibited cool and resolve and soon found his window. One’s enemy must believe that he has the advantage in order to build up his complacence and spoil his defense. Feign disorder and crush him.

MACHIAVELLI: He should have punched the guy in the balls.

WILLIAMS: I had talked to both fighters before the competition and was surprised to learn that they teach self-defense classes with essentially the same philosophy: that despite what they do in The Globe of Death, the techniques that they teach are not to be used unless absolutely necessary. They both said that the fights they engage in on television are to be used as an example of what works and what doesn’t work in a real-world fight. How do you feel about this?

SUN TZU: A leader leads by example, not by force.

MACHIAVELLI: They should tech their students that all men are bad and that they will use their malignity of mind every time they have the opportunity. Also, kicking people when they’re on the ground … in the balls.

WILLIAMS: Well, back to the fight. We’ve seen a brawl turn into a grappling match and -- Oh, wait a second. We have another commentator joining us via satellite. Achilles, what do you think of this fight?

ACHILLES: It took too long.

WILLIAMS: Well, for The Swift-Footed, anyone would appear slow. What do our commentators think of the time it took Corona to defeat Kendall?

SUN TZU: It took as long as it should have taken. The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.

MACHIAVELLI: There's always a temptation, in the middle of a long struggle, to seek the quiet life, to escape the duties and problems of the world, and to hope the enemy grows weary of fanaticism and tired of murder. This would be a pleasant world, but it's not the world we live in. The enemy is never tired, never sated, never content with yesterday's brutality. This enemy considers every retreat of the civilized world as an invitation to greater violence.

WILLIAMS: Fair enough. Many different views of this fight from many different people. If you’re just tuning in, Riley “The Cannon” Kendall defeated in an upset submission hold by Patrick “The Python” Corona. The crowd is restless here at The Globe of Death. There seem to be a few fights going on in the stands. It is utter chaos. The referee is not backing down from his decision.

REFEREE CREON: My heart misgives me, 'tis best to keep the established laws, even to life's end.

WILLIAMS: It should be noted that while the world is going insane, within the ring the two fighters are shaking hands and comparing techniques. True sportsmen who don’t let their divergent styles dictate their interactions with each other. What do our commentators think of these two lion-hearted warriors?

SUN TZU: Master Corona did the honorable thing and built a golden bridge for his opponent to retreat over.

MACHIAVELLI: He should have killed him and took his girlfriend.

- by Casey Ishitani

First Post

Welcome to the first post. Have nothing interesting to report ...

Fuck it, that's a lie.

Big business ruining the fabric of society, jobless rates soaring and media being put under the sword.

That being said, better and quite possibly funner things on the horizon such as playlists from Jet Boy, Jet Girl shows at Mercury Bar and updates from things around the indie community and beyond.